I like to put my music on shuffle so the next song will be a surprise. Today the next song came on and the words that really spoke to me were 'that was then and this is now'.
My now can only happen because of my then but it is my choice how I do my now. As each new day comes I can choose to do now without being restricted by my then.
Today I have been fearful of what comes next and because of my experience of then, I have found it hard to be hopeful in the now.
However I really have no idea of what tomorrow might bring. I am certain that I have no control over what comes my way although I do have control over how I react. There have been times when my reaction to people, situations, life have not been great. I have tried to control what comes next by my behaviour, by my words and by my response. I have made my now all about me and given little thought to the people around me - most of the time I did not realise how wrong I was getting it.
"With every sun comes a new day. A new beginning.
A hope that things will be better today than they were yesterday."
I now realise that it is my choice to make now better. Each day does bring a new beginning and I do not have to be weighed down by my then. I am learning that my then can shape me as I do my now. I can learn from the wrong choices I made. I am able to choose to show love, in many different ways.
Another line of the song says, 'You'll never be that man again." I can choose to move on from what I was. I am being made new. The steps are not always easy and it can feel like I am walking through mud; though on some days I feel I might be running along the sand.
As I stand in the now, I look up and I hope that I can be better and not held back by my then. My now is new and surely it is better for me to choose love over fear. I would like to put my hope in a brighter day, a new view and a better way to love.