Sunday, 12 February 2017

My Story So Far...

In June 1984, when I was almost 8 years old I made the decision to give my heart to Jesus. 

Billy Graham had come to Norwich City Football Ground on the Mission England tour. 

I was sat with Dad in the choir and when they gave the opportunity for people to respond I went forward knowing that I wanted Jesus to be my friend. I knew that I wanted Jesus to be part of my life. 

There wasn't a dramatic transformation and I continued on going to church and bible club. I also had the privilege of going to CUTS or Bible Club Camp as it was known then. 

Each year, Mum and Dad took us on holiday to guest houses that were run by the Methodist Guild. It was great as we made some fantastic friends, some of whom I am still in touch with and I would always look forward to going just to meet up with our friends - although I did always try and go to the morning prayers! 

To be honest I wasn't the easiest daughter in our household and I was a times a little bit rebellious. However I never let go of God, I may have ignored Him or chose not to listen or do His will...yet He stayed faithful. 

As I look back now I can see that God has always been building on to the foundation of my first choice to have Jesus in my life. What I might have seen as routine or just what Christians do, kept adding to the work that 'He began in me'. 
...going to Church
....having Christian friends
....reading the bible 
...listening to Christian music
...knowing that people were praying for me
....going to Spring Harvest, on Christian holidays, to a music conference
...attending House Group
...being involved at church 
And more recently having the privilege of working for our church.

Without all this I wonder if when my world fell apart I may have chosen to run in the other direction and leave God behind. 

However, that is not what happened. I know that God is faithful and God is so good and all that He had provided in those first 30 years of being a Christian gave me a strength that I did not know I had.

Over the last couple of years my relationship with God has gone deeper. I thought I was doing ok as a Christian when actually what I was doing was keeping God in a box. I was the one in control of our relationship. What God did in my life was on my terms not His. 

Now I want God in every part of my life. I am thankful that I am discovering more and more of who God is and how much I am loved. 
A couple of weeks ago I heard someone speak about how Jesus wants to come into every room of our lives. I know that is what I want. I know that my life is fuller with Jesus in every part.

I have learnt that by inviting Jesus into every room, every relationship, every hurt, every circumstance I find myself in, means that I am held. It means I find peace. 

There is a verse in the Bible that says...

I am learning more about what it means to live by faith, I have no idea what my future holds however I do know who holds the future! 
 I am thankful that when it feels too much of a struggle God provides what I need - a hug or words or a smile from a friend, a reminder from His Word or through the wonder of creation - God knows what I need. 

When I gave my heart to Jesus I had no idea of what my life would bring. Yet as I stand here now I have so much to be thankful for. For the most part that is being mum to three beautiful children and what a privilege and responsibility that is. 
In Jesus, God has given us so much and I do not want to keep that to myself. 
I hope that as I keep on with my loving Heavenly Father I can share and show Jesus to Kate, Noah and Lily. I don't always get it right, however I am learning that you can never say I love you too much and that I should always be the first one to say sorry. 

I am discovering that I am best if I take a day at a time or even a step at a time. I believe that is all God asks us to do - when he provided manna for the Israelites and when He taught us to pray, it was just for the day. 
I hope that as I continue on in my walk with Jesus I can find the strength to lift my gaze, to know I am perfectly covered by His love. I choose to do His will through the power of His spirit in me and I hope that I can live a life that loves God and loves others.