By The River

Earlier today I sat by the river, in the midst of the wonder of creation. The river is fulfilling its purpose, seeming in some places completely still yet continuously moving. 

In this section of the river there is no rushing of water and even though there is noise all around, there is peace. 

I would like to be as the river is. The river has it's source (where is begins) and it's mouth (where it flows into another river or the sea). The source of the river is continuous and constant. I have realised that in order for me to flow as I should my source needs to be continuous. In order for me to fulfil my purpose I need to be flowing from a constant supply. 

My supply comes from a steadfast, unchanging love. A love that is lavished upon me and a love that does not fail. With love as my source I hope to bring love into the lives I run into to. 

My source is continuous and unchanging, however I can interrupt the flow. I might take on rubbish or I might build myself a dam. Then love is no longer my greatest source. Other things get in the way or I begin to control what sources me. 

Just as there seems stillness in the river, there must be a time when I am still, looking back to my source which in turn becomes my strength. 

I believe that perfect love should be my source. I must protect that source, make time to fill myself and flow from there. 

As I gain purpose from my source I hope that with each new day I journey, love flows with me. When it does not, I hope that I do not get swept away with the current but instead find the stillness in order to again be filled from my source. 

With Every Sun

This morning I had the privilege of watching the sunrise from the most easterly point in the UK. As I was travelling there I felt a bit apprehensive, I was not sure why, I just knew that I did not want to miss seeing it. However, now having seen the sunrise I now know why!

Ness Point in Lowestoft is the most easterly point in the UK. It is an unusual place as it is surrounded by an Industrial Estate and there seems to be not much there.

Yet, as the sun brought its new day, there was so much there. As I watched the sky change from a pinky, blue to the most glorious orangey, gold there was incredible beauty.

Whilst I was waiting and watching the sky, I did wonder if the sunrise had already happened as I can sometimes miss the obvious (I think that has something to do with a lack of common sense!). Then the sun rose and I realised that the real thing actually far, far, far, outweighed what I was expecting to see. I thought I might have missed it because, until I saw the sunrise, my mind could not comprehend the awesomeness of what I was about to see.

During the time that the sun rose I could look at the sun. Shortly after I was not able to as the colour and the intensity of the glow of the sun had changed. As I watched the sun appear over the horizon I was able to gaze upon such splendour and power. For that moment I was surrounded by the greatness of creation. I could see love.

Preparing To Configure...

Over the last few months I have been waking up early. Most mornings I am up and out of bed getting ready for the day. Although on the mornings when there is no school there is a chance the children might sleep a bit longer so I stay in bed a bit longer.

Then I think! I find it absolutely fascinating how my mind can cover hundreds of different thoughts in what seems like the space of a minute!

However they are just thoughts - they are not reality. They might be on their way to becoming a reality but that is up to me and which direction I choose to take those thoughts.

With every sun comes a new day and today I have decided that I am not going to let my fearful thoughts take over. I sit here at the beginning of a brand new day and it is my choice how that day goes. As I start the day I could let all those thoughts consume me which would probably lead to a day which was quite low.

Or I could reconfigure!

Sometimes when I switch my computer on or off, these words appear in the middle of the screen, "Preparing to configure Windows. Do not turn off your computer." The computer needs to update, reconfigure, rearrange. Instead of letting fear guide my path, I shall say to myself, "Preparing to configure. Do not get out of bed".

I need to update and rearrange my thoughts and choose joy to guide my steps. I need to reconfigure and walk in the assurance that I am loved.

This week I was encouraged to think about the words I use; are they necessary? Is being silent a better choice? How about I apply that to my thoughts as well? Are they necessary? Can I keep those thoughts silent?

At the moment the house is silent although shortly I am sure there will be much more noise. So as I continue this new day I shall look to the strength God gives me and I will reconfigure my thoughts. I shall try to think less and aim to choose love and calm to configure my thoughts.

Hey there!

Hey there my precious child,

You are loved, you are held and you are cherished.

My love is poured over you and covers all. I look at you and you make me smile.

My love for you will never run out, it chases you and longs to be with you.

My loves brings hope and brings light.

My love for you is unfailing.

My love is the 'one set of footprints' for I am carrying you.

My heart is full to overflowing with love for you.

My love is comfort and security; I am holding on to you so tightly.

My love says, "you first..."

My love makes all things new.

My love is here for you...always.


A love so amazing.
With every sun comes a new day and the opportunity for me to try and show this love to others. The only way I can do that is because I know that I am loved, I am held and I am cherished.

A Simple Truth

In the still and in the mess...

In the joy and in the pain...

In the peace and in the confusion...

In the laughter and in the sorrow...

In the light and in the dark...

In the order and in the chaos...

In all these things I can stand and say Great is My Lord.

As the sun brings the new day I am held in the careful hands of my Heavenly Father. 

A Lighter Load

My children, whom I love so very much, all have the ability to throw a wonderful wobble! I am sure that my parents would have said the same of me as I was growing up (now I just get it wrong in other ways!)
I can still recall when my eldest daughter decided she wanted some chocolate. When she was told she could not have any she then continued to ask, in a rather demanding fashion, for the next forty five minutes.

My role of 'being mum' repeatedly makes life seem very unfair when you are five, seven or nine. Often the response I receive is grrr, urgh, a tut, REALLY, a scream or a shout and sometimes even a growl.

There are occasions when I would love to join in the chorus of grrr's and urgh's. I want to scream, shout and stamp my feet too!

Maybe it is a way of releasing all the frustration and disappointment. However I believe there is a better way. Initially this choice requires probably as much effort as the wobbles my children have, however with practise, it can bring such peace.

These words give me encouragement, hope and strength. As each new day dawns I know that I am not alone. As I read these words I picture in my mind someone carrying the yoke with the buckets attached. In the buckets I am able to place all the things that weigh me down - my worries, hurts, resentments, bitterness, fears, feeling of injustice. My load is made lighter because there is someone willing to carry it for me. I can find rest because I can give my burdens and my weariness to Jesus. 

Without all these things weighing me down I believe I have become gentler. I no longer try to make everything 'right' because there is One who can do a much better job. Furthermore, with a lighter load it becomes easier to look up and see other people. To see how I am privileged to be sharing in their stories. 

There are times when I still want to carry that yoke myself and to hold on to my worries and my hurts. My impulse is to GRRRRRRRRRRRR until I am heard. Yet if I still my soul and come, giving my burdens to the One whose hands will perfectly carry them, then my heart stands in a far better place. 

This Is Now

I love listening to music. I can get lost in the words. I often sing like nobody is listening. Sometimes we even form our own little pop band in the car!
I like to put my music on shuffle so the next song will be a surprise. Today the next song came on and the words that really spoke to me were 'that was then and this is now'.

My now can only happen because of my then but it is my choice how I do my now. As each new day comes I can choose to do now without being restricted by my then.

Today I have been fearful of what comes next and because of my experience of then, I have found it hard to be hopeful in the now.

However I really have no idea of what tomorrow might bring. I am certain that I have no control over what comes my way although I do have control over how I react. There have been times when my reaction to people, situations, life have not been great. I have tried to control what comes next by my behaviour, by my words and by my response. I have made my now all about me and given little thought to the people around me - most of the time I did not realise how wrong I was getting it.

"With every sun comes a new day. A new beginning. 

A hope that things will be better today than they were yesterday."

I now realise that it is my choice to make now better. Each day does bring a new beginning and I do not have to be weighed down by my then. I am learning that my then can shape me as I do my now. I can learn from the wrong choices I made. I am able to choose to show love, in many different ways.

Another line of the song says, 'You'll never be that man again." I can choose to move on from what I was. I am being made new. The steps are not always easy and it can feel like I am walking through mud; though on some days I feel I might be running along the sand.

As I stand in the now, I look up and I hope that I can be better and not held back by my then. My now is new and surely it is better for me to choose love over fear. I would like to put my hope in a brighter day, a new view and a better way to love.

Casting Crowns 'This Is Now'