He Knows My Name

This morning, as I was getting ready for the day, I opened up Spotify and because of the music I had been listening to yesterday, I was given a few choices of things I might like to listen to. 
So I had a look through and decided on a female singer who I like, her name is Francesca Battistelli. Then, I had one of those moments where I just knew I was meant to see her name and then listen to the particular song I chose. 

It was so great to stand in the middle of the kitchen, singing the words of the song and to feel absolutely covered in love. I am so thankful that this is the truth I can stand on, 'He knows my name.' 

Sitting here at the end of the day, I can say, 'It's been a great day!' Perhaps that is because of the wonderful truth I was able to listen to as I began the day...

He Knows My Name by Francesca Battistelli

Spent today in a conversation 

In the mirror face to face with

Somebody less than perfect

I wouldn't choose me first if

I was looking for a champion

In fact I'd understand if

You picked everyone before me

But that's just not my story

True to who You are

You saw my heart

And made

Something out of nothing

I don't need my name in lights

I'm famous in my Father's eyes

Make no mistake

He knows my name

I'm not living for applause

I'm already so adored

It's all His stage

He knows my name 

I'm not meant to just stay quiet

I'm meant to be a lion

I'll roar beyond a song

With every moment that I've got

True to who You are

You saw my heart

And made

Something out of nothing

He calls me chosen, free forgiven, wanted, child of the King

His forever, held in treasure

I am loved

Strength!

So, as I am determining to get my head filled with better and brighter things, all of a sudden, I find myself really struggling with the anger I am feeling. It has surprised me and with this anger, there are thoughts that are not particularly kind.
The struggle intensifies as I don't wish to feel this way. My journey has not been easy and at times it feels like this anger could destroy all the positive steps I have made.
It may be that the day has started well, then all of a sudden something happens and it feels like all the effort I have been putting in to getting myself to a better place seems worthless. It all comes crashing down around me and I feel like I am back to where I started. Without realising it, I am gritting my teeth and I have had enough!

I find myself in a place of turmoil and I no longer wish to be feeling like this.

What do I do? I know I do not want to give into the anger that I am feeling because being consumed by angry feelings is not a place a wish to be in. However, if I am honest, sometimes I feel scared it will get the better of me and that I will become bitter and resentful.

By admitting, out loud, that angry is something I no longer wish to be, maybe I have taken a step in the right direction. Also, by acknowledging that, I realise I must replace that anger with something better, I have taken another good step.

What then should I be magnifying? What would take me in the opposite direction to anger? Calm and peace seem to be much more helpful paths to tread.
It is not easy as it means letting go of the hurt that accompanies the anger.  However, if I am trusting that God is bigger than any situation I face, then surely it makes sense to give the anger and the hurt to Him. His hands are far more capable.

I am also grateful for the people by my side who hold me accountable. They remind me of what is true and good. As they do this, they enable me to make a better choice which I will not regret and will keep me on the path which brings peace.

When things happen and there is that split second where there is the pause - the smallest opportunity to right my thinking and to resist the pull of reacting to my feelings - I hope the thing I choose to magnify is strength. Strength to turn away. Strength to trust. Strength to change.

Head Space!

This year, for Lent, I have chosen to give up TV and screen time, that for me is unnecessary. Which means I am not able to play Suduko instead of watching TV!

I felt challenged to do this because I would like my head space to be filled with better things. I am learning that the only way my head will be filled with better things is if I make a change. It is necessary for me to find the time and put in the effort to shift my thinking.

Lent has only been happening for five days so nothing major has happened yet and also with a busy half term, I have not yet really noticed that TV or screen time is not an option. However, as I write this, I realise that I do not wish to get to the end of Lent having made lots of excuses as to why I didn't make the effort of filling my head with better and brighter things.

I have also been challenged this Lent to think about what I give, rather than just thinking about what I give up. It seems to make sense to fill the time I would have spent watching TV with something useful. By giving up, I then give opportunity to pursue something valuable. If I am willing to invest in making a necessary and positive change to what I give head space to, then surely that will be of benefit to those closest to me.

I'm choosing to take time out to discover how to focus my thoughts so that when they become anxious or unhelpful, I can change the direction of those thoughts to a place that is more peaceful or positive. When I find myself fixing on lies, I hope to be so secure in the truth that I can trample out the lies. I'm choosing to give effort and determination because I would like to find myself in a better space.

There is a verse in the Bible that talks of being rescued and brought into a spacious place. A place that is safe and where there is delight and there is joy. This is what I hope for my head space! That I will be resolute as I journey to the place of safety and truth. I will be bold as I take each step to filling my head with brighter things and that eventually I will be running into that spacious place to grasp hold of that truth...that is where I hope my head will be at!

It's Not About Me!

Walking into the supermarket, I straight away noticed the vast array of Valentine’s Cards. I turned away not wanting to see them. In my head, I’m telling myself that it’s only for a couple of weeks and then they will be gone.

I obviously spend far too much time in supermarkets, as it was when I was in another supermarket, again the first thing I took notice of was the stand of Valentine’s Cards, yet this time it did not feel so bad.

Surely it is good that people want to celebrate their love for each other or secretly declare their love for a special someone. So, I told myself off! It’s not about me! Why shouldn’t people be able to take the time to show someone else that they are loved.

In giving myself a talking to, I began to see things a bit differently - instead of wanting Valentine’s Day to quickly come and go, I could take the time to show someone that they are loved.

Then, I realised something really quite wonderful! If Valentine’s Day is about celebrating the people I love, actually, I could send quite a few Valentine’s cards! How great was that feeling?! How very blessed am I to have more than one person to whom I could send a card.

However, I’ve settled on sending just 3! By putting the grumpiness that I initially felt to one side, I give myself the opportunity to pour some love into someone else’s life.

I know how amazing I feel when someone shows me that I am loved and this Valentine’s Day, I am determined to pass that feeling on.

Often I am overwhelmed by the love that others show me, through their words or through their deeds. Although the greatest love I am shown is by the One who holds me. The safety and security I find in this Love that never lets go, never gives up and is given to me without condition enables me to love others. To know that I am loved so much that my name is written on God’s hands. I am significant enough to find my name engraved on the palm of His hands.

That blows me away! Why me? Why not me! As I stand covered by that love, I choose to share that love. As I send my 3 cards tomorrow I hope that I can use my words to convey how very much my precious 3 are loved. They too are significant enough to have their names written on the palm of His hands.

 I am choosing to put the grumpiness to one side and to make the day about love. A generous, crazy, extravagant, you first, kind of love. It’s not about me – it is about them and I hope that by the end of the day I will have trod better steps which have demonstrated that.
And that I will continue to do the same as each new day comes.